• Read more about Dear Maggie Series: Kiddos

Dear Maggie,

As a parent, working from home is such a blessing! Getting to send them off to school, attend midday field trips, and being home when they return is a privilege I'll never take for granted.

The only struggle though, is balancing work and family time when the kids are on vacation. I always seem to spend the entire day trying to placate one of them, and no matter how hard I try, the interruptions always equate to less work during the day and more in my evenings.

And of course, this doesn’t help with the reports of “Dad works all the time!” and only furthers their desire to have more of my time the next day. Any tips for making these days more enjoyable for everyone?

Run Ragged in Reno

Hey Ragged,

While I don’t have any rugrats of my own, I do have a total of 7 make that 8, nieces and nephews. Whenever I work from my brother’s house and the munchkins are around, my productivity is completely shot. I spoke with a few expert Intrideans though, Ben and Jeff, who manage being great dads and productive workers, and we’ve come up with a few surefire tips for gettin’ er done when the kiddos are around:

1. Tell them “bye” in the morning.

You may just be going into your office, but we’d still recommend telling your kids “bye” in the morning. It doesn’t have to be any more grandiose than a quick hug and a kiss for their day. Sure, you’ll probably see them again in five minutes for a coffee refill, but it creates a clean break and lets them know “you’re now at work.”

2. Create boundaries.

The best way to get work done with little ones around is to have your own space. Many people will create a hanging sign for their office door, indicating they are or are not available. Others create a system of their door being open or cracked. Whatever your method is, establish clear boundaries that your children can understand.

3. Ask for quiet when you need it.

Everyone knows kids are GREAT at making noise. Between general mirth or tears and the toys and TV, things can get loud. Usually just a quick “Hey, hoping on a call” is all it takes to keep them happy and quiet for the duration (so long as you’ve explained what that means, and they have engaging quiet activities for them). It’s important to follow up if expectations aren’t met, and you should be ready for it to take a little while to get it just right.

4. Expect the unexpected.

You never know what you might walk into when you leave your office, and trying to plan or expect too much will lead to disappointment. Accept that you’re raising kids (not robots) and it is their house as well. Do your best to come to terms with the ups and downs, and remember they’re only this little once, so don’t let the mess affect the time you have with them.

5. Make time for visits.

All the above might make it sound like you should try to be distant from your kids during the day, but it’s quite the opposite. You should do your best to make time and visit with them for small blocks of time every day. Try having lunch with your family, play a game, or go for a walk with them. It’s the simple things kids remember most and working from home is the perfect opportunity to create those memories.

Got an idea for our next post? Send your burning questions, feedback, or suggestions over to dearmaggie@intridea.com! We'd love to hear from you.

Also, check out Dear Maggie's advice on relationships and working remotely.

• Read more about Dear Maggie Series: Relationship Advice

The benefits of remote working are tremendous; from flexible schedules and commuter free work days to working in your pajamas! At Intridea, we are huge proponents of this lifestyle and have written loads of articles on working effectively, and communicating efficiently in it. However, there's one topic that's gone unnoticed, the relational side of remote working. As a five year veteran, Maggie has experienced many of the relational pitfalls remote working can come with and has heard the same from many of her peers. Thus, she and Intridea have decided to do something about it...

Introducing - “Dear Maggie” - a resource for remote workers who may be facing the friction that can often surface when your home becomes your full time office.

Send your burning questions over to dearmaggie@intridea.com, and we’ll address them!

Dear Maggie,

I recently started working for a company that’s fully distributed (remote). The adjustment has been great and I’m really enjoying my new work situation, there’s only one problem.

My wife works a traditional 9-5 job and is consistently annoyed when she returns home to find I haven’t done any housework. I don’t think this is fair, as she isn’t expected to clean during her work-day, and I’m busy doing my own job during the day.

How can I help her to understand I need to put in 8 hours of work too and can’t do all the cleaning while she’s away?

Annoyed in Annapolis

Hey Annoyed,

One of the hardest parts to adjusting to remote working is negotiating a new normal with your partner. Many times people new to remote working are careful to define expectations for themselves, and for their new employer, but not their significant other. I think we’re both in agreement that your wife’s expectations are unfair; both of you work during the day, yours just happens to be from home while hers is at an office.

However, keep in mind, it may be that your wife is questioning your time at home, because she doesn’t see you clean enough when she is around. Perhaps this is an opportunity to address the split of household duties, and put together an amenable plan.

Here are a few tips to ensure success:

1. Indicate you’re interested in finding a plan that ensures no one (especially her) feels like they’re doing more than their ½ of the work. This way you’re approaching the conversation from a place of positivity rather than complaining.
2. Own the goal of coming up with a plan and come prepared! Start a chart to help track duties, or a list of the tasks you’ve identified to keep the conversation productive. After you get it nailed down, post it somewhere where it’s easily accessible by both of you.
3. Setting your partner’s expectations about what she’ll see you do is only half the battle, be sure to discuss the details of when you prefer to accomplish your ½ of the duties too. This way she doesn’t expect the laundry to be done on Tuesdays when you’d prefer to do it on Sunday mornings. Talking it through beforehand ensures no one is let down.
4. Stick to it. Whatever you two agree on, you have to hold up your end of the bargain. Setting expectations only helps if you meet those expectations.

Every relationship is different, and I wouldn’t say there’s one “silver bullet” for this problem. Nevertheless setting expectations is always a great start. Working remote adds new variables to a relationship - but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming! Being intentional in both your work and family life can be as simple as a list, conversation, or schedule - just take the time and address these issues head on...

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